LORD, can you be a bit louder; I cannot hear you!! ..

It all starts when the reptile finds you alone, you are introspecting, when u look back to the things that have happened to you...the fangs of time open wide, you try to escape but not for long.. the reptile is ferocious and swift, it does what it does best.. takes what it wants and you are left with no time to think... The onslaught is excruciating... soul screams cause the compassion is lost.. the venom spreads fast, brain feels self-energised... and blood is no longer thicker than water! Demons command the soul...
Welcome to HELL!!! ... Is this what demons have inside..VENOM!!..and nothing more than venom...

All that paraphrase could articulate was ANGER is indeed a rattle snake, hisses when u start feeling the uneasiness. This is my time to run, run and head for cover, retreat, no use fighting the demons of the mind.. if i lay back they are going to overcome me..and once the venom spreads it blocks what the mind can see ... for the moment I truly have the demon's mind.
We repent what we do as actions with this demon's mind cause by the time the disruption is over the Gods are called upon and again things are back to sunny side, Question lingers why does this sunny side come in late?.. cant it stop me from doing what i Do wrong ?.. why does it slumber all the while i play havoc...?

Some questions HE up there could hesistate to answer i guess, but considering the fact that I come under his Supereme Jurisdiction why does he let me be the Demon and then again GOD?..

Let me be explicit with a instance what one feels when is angry....

Say .. when you sit alone, believe me, each one of us likes to take time off. Sit alone and ponder over what has happened, perhaps think about "What would it be if it was like that?".. we have expectations from situations and more certainly people, situations never so but people often fall short of expectations.. demolished expectations give agony ... some souls meekly accept what has happened never do they have qualms.. but souls like me battle the negativity.. this is when i say the rattle snake hisses!!!

Pause!!!!
before i move i ahead in story, just pause, stop the adrenaline rush..STOP IT!!
all that invigorating talk was fast enough but we missed out that all this while you were feeling the apprehension that I could turn into a demon, GOD was whispering and persuade me back to what I was!!!
Expectations?... look at the expectations ... was it always that things fell short.. Cant I think of once instance where I was delighted to have all my expectations met... Yes Yes ... there have been many...
So why do i fear the serpant?.. let it hiss..let it attack.. why does the venom change me?...why does it thwart my emotions and compel me to play havoc?

Answer is im just another human being.. not the LORD!..
LORD.. I wish you could be a bit louder.. I could not hear your whisper !!!

Unpause!!
Getting back from that mind pitstop i took after the Pause, i guess the serpant then bites me and the hell breaks loose!... i feel like giving back to the world what it gave me.. the demons justify it and so do I ..
What have a done wrong so that I desreve this?.. Let people not have command over what I do.. let them suffer why do I play the saviour? World and people are where they deserve to be; sorrow or happiness.. that is what is fate .. why should I make things better ?
Venom rush ..feeling it? ..
the mind is crumpled into a low thinking menial machine that has no emotions!... Where is the soul?...

LORD .. did you say something?.. I need to listen to you.. can you be a bit louder?


Pause!!!
If i was to be the demon indeed, why all that hesitation?..Why am I NOT still thinking like Demon..why am I asking questions that are obviously implicating that Im doing wrong...
World is not what it seems (atleast when Im infected with the venom).. i can still play the saviour.. I can still help people who need me.. My help though does not change the fate of those few surely can bring the smile back!!.. I have chance to play GOD!!.. why am I playing the demon?

See again the LORD whispered!...unless I pause I simply cannot hear him...
Oh Mighty LORD .. can you be a bit louder I cannot hear you... I sincerly want to hear you


Unpause!!
So I move on to inflict pain on people, People who dont desreve to be hurt, Why do I care?.. I gave what I got, my dues are nIL.. Yes thats all what matters..only the dues..and nothing else


Once this diruption is over the serpant vanishes.. simply vanishes!.. I repent for what I have done, Poison fades away...

I request the LORD
LORD, forgive me for what i have done, I was blind with venom!
the LORD remains mute.. atleast I cannot hear him ..where is HE?..
I feel heavy with dues!.. i feel uneasy with the things I have shown no mercy for...
Question is --Why did i repent? ...

LORD, can you be a bit louder>?...did you say something?
LORD, I beg--can you be a bit louder? .. I could not hear you!!!

Are our souls really connected??

Some haywire subjectline, denotes a distant possibility but somehow gets the fascinating fact out that our souls indeed might be connected!!!!Well how else can u explain this fact -- females that i get attracted at the first sight are born on 8, 17, 26 of any month..Numerology has some beautiful answers to the same...just ponder...all the dates have some cipher ...well I wouldnt call that a cipher because a numerologist would immediately spot the pattern. All the dates with their digits added to a single digit woul yeild 8 !!!..was that enough to let you believe me that our souls are connected?...Here is one more intense thing ..females that I'm closest are all born on either born on 2, 11, 20, 29 of any month!!!...just jot the pattern here!..all are born under the number 2!!..Dwell into numerology and u should find answers!....but wait u did not ask my Bday!...:D:D ..I was born under the date 28. add up the digits here too...and that gives 1!!Now numerology would have answers saying that 1 signifies the Sun, 8 signifies the Saturn and 2 stands for the Moon. Saturn gives darkness while the Sun dispels the same, universal law...opposite poles attract each other!!...Moon needs the light and the Sun has it!...Sun needs tranquility and the Moon is full of it!...perfect give and take relation!!....Why only humans ...animal instincts are much more intense...Have u ever watched ants walking into each other?...they stop for a split second and move on!..something tells them that the oncoming animate figure is from the same species..minute though, they have souls too and souls recognise each other..recognise the souls from yester-birth too. Lets talk about the yester-births and the re-incarnations later, for the time being let us just take up anothet example..arguing that ants recognise each other by smell?...just listen to this...fish in the fish-pond recognise their species !!..ever wondered why a gold fish suddenly gets active after seeing another one from the same community...try and give the gold fish company of another Coe and he would again feel lonely!!...How could he have recognised that the new inmate is a another gold fish...considering the wonderful fact that the gold fish has never seen himself!...Smell is a distant excuse!...Souls connecting is the only reason!!.Souls connect and they surely are the ones that we carry over thru the births and deaths!...should just recoginise the ones from the yester-birth!! One soul is here to help the other one and so on...so next time u feel u connect to somebody u be sure that this soul was ur mate in yester-birth!!

Where is God?

Well one of the toughest question one could ask oneself as well as some question not easy to answer within.Where is God??...and does he really manifest himself, if he is has a human incarnation then what language does he speak??...some question that has no coupling answer!The SrimadBhagwatam would have some simple ways around the bush probably the way around this uncomfortable question. What it says is that we would not be able to spot HIM and amazingly a logical answer to the same.Lets for a while imagine there is a fish in a ocean...ha!..nothing to be imagined ..but what i meant to say was to strike a analogy!...now since this fellow lives in the ocean he would not have a idea what the ocean looks like ...true in a sense since he is the part of the whole ocean to see a ocean from a bird's eye-view he would have to be separated from the ocean. Once separated the fish has no existence of its own,very similar we all are minute part of HIM!!...so see him we would have to be separated from HIM, and as the analogy strikes we would have no existence..probably why death is regarded as Moksha and the real beginning of the life cycle!!! hmm some nice way around the issue ...but not convincing at all!!..the question ; where is God still remains lingering. Try giving out reasons and they just spiral out to something illogical and the answers get still more unconvincing........Let me give it a shot!, how about if i say God is in the landing gear of the aircrafts!...he is in the fact that he is in the pumpkin sapling!!..or how about this He is in the leaves of the pepal tree. perplexed? ...let me give u a valid explanation....When I say HE is in the aircraft landing gear, watch these statistics..A airbus A380 weighs more that 600 tonnes flying at the the velocity of 75 % mach speed has to land thru the shortest possible projectiles would require humongous momentum to be canceled.! ..who does that?...well the flaps and the hydraulic cylinders...but who takes the brunt if these fellows dont work...the landing gear..ever imagined how a set of small gears would undergo that kind of load....remember it is ordinary steel that has been subjected to martensification to get this God-like strength!!.. God is surely here in the landing gear!...Now i bet u never would imagine why i said the pumpkin sapling has God in it!??..look at the sapling-creeper..it can harld bear its own weight..still manages to bear the pumpkin before it is plucked...something gives me a feeling that God surely manifests himself at such seemingly impossible places.Now is God only about strength and endurance?...I guess not >> He is rhythm..and rhythm in everything that can heard or seen ...Ever got a chance to see the peepal leaves sway on a windy evening??...all have rhythm...i'm not sure if it is octave note or hexane note ..but surely all the leaves sway in rhythm....this is where exactly HE is!!.....Let the mind free and I'm sure i can think of more such marvelous such examples...Undeniable fact that he is present..He is present and He is present everywhere...just that he manifests himself in such small things which we miss out as trivial things...Shame on us!!!

Wars inside .....

How do u measure whether a man is successful>?? ...I guess there are no parameters to judge that, but lets assume for the time being that happy men are successful, or is it the other way round??....does success make a man happy?...somehow the domimoes effect does not preceed over these 2 entities....they are like a yoyo-couple, one pulls the other pushes. Well talking about happy men, what could they be really doing? or let me ask do they really do something?....as in that happiness just comes to them>? Ok lets assume my Boss is happy!!, he should be; he has a cruising career, a family to care for and kids to see, wait a minute does this mean he is happy?....ummm...he is from MY perspective, Ah!..now i get it, though he is still engaged in embellishing his pay slip and always asking more my perspective is that he is happy though he has no idea that he is so happy!...Woah...I mean to say he has no idea that he himself is so happy ?? Truly happiness is perspective from others standpoint, grass is always greener on the other side, well if there is some greener patch on my side too how come people see it and not me?..either this greener side is mirage or I'm blind...hehehehe do I sound pessimist>?..ok let me re-structure..If i want to see the green patch on my own backyard I need to see that with my mind and not with the eyes. For the same i need my mind to be positive and hope should float across!!...Well to have that scenario u should be seeing only one thing at a time, twin thoughts would mar the scene!. which in simple words mean inner war should end!...Denotes that i should stick to the decision no matter what. Cowards retreat from the battlefield, thinking that they are about to lose, but never realise that they have already lost the moment this thought crossed the mind. Now take the mind as the battlefiled and decision as ur mission, once taken u cannot even thinkof changing it!....Otherwise just forget the greener patch....Happy people end up attracting happiness....

What crosses the mind ..... split second

Ever wondered how sometimes u just do somethings right and sometimes u do the same things wrong!...I mean if the archer can shoot a arrow on the target the first time, what is the probability that the fellow hits the same spot rt on the next time??....This is exactly what separates precision and accuracy, accuracy can be achieved on a given instance but precision seems to have a different behaviour. Lets just take a instance, that one badminton player stands against the greats of Taufik Hidayat!..wOah u dare to ask me who he is ..well here goes ..He a world champ and has the fatest smash of 305 km/hr onto his credit!!!! ...now just imagine u standing rt in front of champ....And he has a loose shot to dispose off, be sure he is gonna show no mercy to hit the shuttle back at u at screaming speed!....305 km /hr !!!...frightening is it?....yes sure is ...but for world class players like Bonsak Posanna it is just routine. Remember the the law or perspectives?? ..I hope u do beacause u r sure gonna need the same in this text!...now lets for a moment go to cricket and recollect what the English skipper Micheal Vaghuan said "Confidence is the key"...well he was right but this corrollary does not apply completely to this scenario!...yes sure confidence is the key but its sure a commodity that anyone can buy!!..I say the way u appraoch the smash return is sure gonna conclude how u are gonna return the smash. Now lets drill down futher and see what governs the approach, surely the mind!...and what governs the mind are the simple thoughts, Point to be taken is in the split second if u think u can hit a return then sure u can return. Idea is bare and simple. But not so easy!...badminton court is 44' across assuming Taufik is gonna hit frm the lobby!!...well with 305 km / hr (277.96005 ft /second)..u have bare minimum of 0.16 seconds to think that u can hit the shot!...Now talk about the fastest enitity ..its not light, its the very own human mind!!!!!!!
To such a entity that the almighty created, has its own weaknesses too!...and its own breakdowns too..but a solemn salute to this amazing thing called human mind

Theory behind dreams

Not only weird as they seem but also involuntary...sometimes they flash and by dawn u remember nothing...some of them make lasting indentations on the mind ..while some just make u jump out of the bed. Dreams are the most interesting illogical instances in the human life!....Instead of narrating some of these crazy movies that I run thru asleep, I tried to control what comes to my dreams.
Let me just put down the spaghetti logic for the most popular question "Why do we dream!!!!!"???? and how I control them is just concomitant
Well, lets just accept that cerebral grey matter is not the only thing associated with human thinking process!! ...Woah!!...its also the spinal chord and the medula oblongata that also have a kind of "mind"...but Alas with no logic!!...Hard to think, I know; but wait a moment...following fact would make u realize that the brain though is superior thinking machine..it has auxiliary mechanism to assist it!!! When u sleep .....the brain is a bit dormant and relaxes its logic .....not the logic of controlling the involuntary process of heart beats and breathing ..(believe me u wouldn't want the brain to stop those processes!!!)..it is just the process of thinking. Thinking as a process would involve retrieving images from the memory and displaying it on to the screen of the retina...(if u are wondering of hallucinations;this is not the thing!!) implies that it is a simple retrieval process from a storage location........now if brain started retrieving all such images which are irrelevant it would cause a state called schizophrenia!!!...Brain has a logic to be applied before it is dispatched to u!...Now as u are asleep imagine the brain is not doing its job of image retrieval, rather delegates the matter to spinal chord and the medula oblongatta!!...these fellows have a simple retrieval process mechanism but no logic!!!! Hell breaks loose!..random images are tried to fit together and cause havoc!...explains the reason why mostly the dreams are devoid of any logic!
Well lets just take up the case of me seeing a thing...like....a tree ..I just pass by the tree and in the certain context the tree has no relevance, but still the image of the tree has been transmitted from my eye to the memory ..I wouldnt have recognised it was tree otherwise ..but since there is no relevance for the tree in this context my brain wouldn't have a reaction to seeing a tree!... Here comes the trap, I have utlised the energy to transmit the image and recognise that this is a tree indeed!...But universal law says .. "Energy can neither be created nor can be destroyed!"(neurotransmitters utilize the bio-electrosignals to do so)..so the spent energy has to be either utlised or has to be stored!...it simply cannot be destroyed. So image of the tree goes to the so called subconscious mind!
Once I'm asleep the team of spinal chord and the medula oblongatta would try and asses the images in the sub concious mind and derive a better logic. [derivations are like interface behaviors! ...same as in C++ interfaces!! everyone has a different implementation to the tree image!...] now in this process of logic derivation ; which the spinal chord is not at all good at..u end up seeing weird things connected to the tree.
Now the difficult part ...how to control things!....well surely u should keep ur subconscious mind [cache memory] empty...so that spinal chord can also rest, but this seldom happens and we are bound to have dreams!...The cardinal idea is to control what goes to the subconscious mind and not how much goes to it!! ...its like controlling the quality and not the quantity!!.. so when u see something let ur brain have a chance to react to it!...Lets jam into a example straightaway... U see a obscene movie and u just dont comment on the scene...or u are not discussing the same to any one of the friends ..in other words u are suppressing the energy and not allowing the brain to react to the same!!....be sure the scene is gonna come back to ur dreams in the most weird possible way! ....Try it!...u suppress something ...it just erupts back ..instead talk about it and let the brain have a chance to react to the same ....energy spent would not be in the subconscious mind and thus no freaky logic applied to by the spinal chord!!!!
I have been doing this for a couple of years and it feels like God to control ur own subconscious space!! ...